What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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