omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
