I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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