I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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