I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
