I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
