We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
