you traded sex for a burrito?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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