I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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