Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Bring me that man meat
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
