yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
