capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
