One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
