2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
