I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize