Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
