Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
