my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm having to shit out rocks
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