KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
