Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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