she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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