Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
