he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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