So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
