if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
