You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
