My first STD was from a foam party
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
