The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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