Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
