so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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