We're like a lot better than the average bears
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
