...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
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She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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