I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
