How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
