It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
