But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
two words: eviction party
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
