so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
