he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
