ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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