I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
