wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
