Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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