I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
