Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Are we still banned from the library?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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