ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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