Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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