Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
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did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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