There is no way he is gay with that hair.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
