kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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