Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
