i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Randomize
