So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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