The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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