That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
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