Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
