proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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