so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
there is glitter all over my balls
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