Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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