we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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